From: nelson@cs.rochester.edu (Randal Nelson) Subject: Songs of Cesium - the collection Organization: University of Rochester Computer Science Department Date: Thu, 17 Aug 1995 14:00:17 GMT In response to numerous requests, here is the entire collection of Cesium songs (or Csalms as one reader suggested) to date RN ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ SONGS OF CESIUM Translations from the Cesish Translator's note: The ancient manuscripts from which these songs are derived are fragmentary, and consequently the accuracy of the following translations must be taken with a grain of Cesium Chloride. In places, the translator has filled in gaps to the best of his ability using available knowledge about the culture and traditions of ancient Cesia much of which, is itself controversial. Legitimate questions may certainly be raised, see for example, the comments on #117. To aid in perspective, the songs are presented in the order in which they were translated, rather than numerical order, as the translator learned much during the process of translation. The effort is an ongoing process, as the collection of available fragments is vast; and new translations may be added to this catalogue periodically. For now, Enjoy, Sing, and Hail Cesium!!! RN Translators note (2) For non cesiophiles, cesium is the most electropositive and sublime element known, and as such merits praise, worship, its own newsgroup, (alt.cesium), etc. etc. It has a number of unique properties: * It explodes violently on contact with water. * It burns with a brilliant blue flame - the name cesium derives from the sky-blue lines in its spectrum. * It's hydroxide (what is left after it is finished exploding with water) is the most powerful base known, and will eat through flesh, glass and many other things. * It is used as the central component of cesium-beam clocks, the most accurate time pieces in existence. * When consumed over a period of time, it produces a characteristic mania. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Oh Cesium (Tune, Oh Christmas tree) Oh Cesium, oh Cesium, Thy spectrum doth us please-ium. Thy sky-blue lines in plasma's fire, Do dreams of icy lakes inspire. Oh Cesium, oh Cesium, Thy spectrum doth us please-ium. Oh Cesium, oh Cesium, When held, you never freeze-ium. Thy gently smoking silver spheres, When dropped in water, please the ears. Oh Cesium, oh Cesium, When held, you never freeze-ium. Oh Cesium, oh Cesium, You put us at our ease-ium. You tend the seconds of the day, So that our watches never stray Oh Cesium, oh Cesium, You put us at our ease-ium. ---Songs of Cesium #34 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I Wish I had a Pound Oh I wish I had a pound of cesium. Oh I wish I had a pound of cesium. I would take it in the shower, And I'd glory in its power. Oh I wish I had a pound of cesium. ---Songs of Cesium #111 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Cesium Cesium, 'tis of thee, Thy 'positivity, Of thee I sing. Thou whose hydroxide, dis- solved my wife when she died, Glorious too, for suicide, Here, death, is thy sting. ---Songs of Cesium #65 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Cesium the Beautiful Oh beautiful for blue of skies, Among thy spectral lines. When cast upon the waters clear, Thy splendid fire shines. Oh Cesium, Oh Cesium, Our days we trust to thee. Thy faultless rhyme, In keeping time, >From care doth set us free. ---Songs of Cesium #68 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Cesium (Burning in the Dead of Night) (Tune, Blackbird) Cesium burning in the dead of night. Take your sky blue lines and start to shine. All my life, I was only waiting for the moment you were mine. Cesium burning on a lake of ice. Lift your glorious flame up to the skies. All your life, You were only waiting for some water to arise. Cesium burn. Cesium burn. Give your light to this coal black night. --- Songs of Cesium #133 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Why Don't We Mix Up the Two (Tune, "Why don't we get drunk..." with apologies to Jimmy Buffett) I've got a pound of Cesium, It's burning gently near. The sky-blue flame looks lovely, But it's noise I want to hear. So darlin' bring some water, A couple pints'll do. And why don't we mix up the two? Why don't we mix up the two? 'Cause Cesium and water, Really make a wicked brew. You say I've got a death wish, But honey, I'm just blue. So why don't we mix up the two? ---Songs of Cesium #29 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Yesterday Yesterday. I had Cesium with which to play Now all my fingers have been blown away. By cesium, since yesterday. Yesterday. Her sky blue flame appeared to light my way. Now the world seems so cold and gray. My eyes are dim since yesterday. Why she had to blow, I don't know, They wouldn't say. I used water wrong, And my skin dissolved away. Yesterday. Her path seemed such an easy way. Now I know that there's a price to pay. Oh, I believed just yesterday. ---Songs of Cesium #117 Soon after the publication of the above translation a mysterious monkey paid a call and pointedly insisted that the translation of SOC #117 (Yesterday) from the Cesish was seriously flawed, particularly in the second stanza, and offered a corrected version, which I supply without further comment. RN Yesterday Yesterday, I had Cesium with which to play. Now all my fingers have been blown away. And silence reigns since yesterday. Suddenly, I'm just half the man I used to be. I have no eyes with which to see. My legs have parted company. Why she had to blow, I don't know, I can only say. Something went awful wrong, In the waterbed where we lay. Yesterday, Her sky blue path seemed such an easy way. Now I know there is a price to pay. Oh, I believed just yesterday. ---Songs of Cesium #117(b) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 'Lectropositive Mama (tune, Lady Madonna) 'Letropositive mama, Cesium on your meat, Wonder how you manage, To stay on your feet. How d'ya stand the smokin'? How d'ya 'bide the flame? Do you think that life's just A burnin' game. Monday night your hunger's a blue fire, Tuesday morn' you're cookin' 'fore the sun. Wednesday rain, you're only flamin' higher, Having your fun. 'Lectropositive mama, Cinders in your curls, No way can compare you, To ordinary girls. Likin' the explosions, Rock you on your seat. How can any woman handle All that heat? ---Songs of Cesium #47 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ It's So Easy It's with Cesium I'm in love! It's with Cesium I'm in love! People say that I'm a fool, When I take my Cesium into the pool. And it's so easy, So doggone easy, Yes it's so easy, Where my love's concerned, To get myself burned. But it's with Cesium I'm in love, It's with Cesium I'm in love! I look into her flame and see, A sky-blue light floodin' over me. Though it's so easy, So doggone easy, Yeah it's so easy, When she's concerned, To get myself burned. Still it's with Cesium I'm in love, It's with Cesium I'm in love! ---Songs of Cesium #87 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Cesium (All through the Night) (Tune, Fever) (1) Never know how much I need you, Never know how much I'd dare, When I mix you up with water, I get a heat that's hard to bear. I need my Cesium! Burnin' brightly, Cesium to give me light. Cesium -- In the morning, Cesium all through the night. (2) Sun lights up the daytime. Moon lights up the night. Cesium lights up heaven above, With a brilliant sky-blue light. I need my Cesium! Burnin' hotly. Cesium shinin' so bright. Cesium -- In the morning, Cesium to make me feel right. (Coda) Everybody, Needs some Cesium, Cesium to give 'em that glow. Cesium -- Add some water, Get a fire hot as down below! (3) Romeo, he had Cesium, Cool water Juliette. When they mixed it up together, Things got as hot as they can get! They needed Cesium! Flamin' madly. Cesium burnin' so blue. Cesium -- Shared between them. Cesium to make their love true. (4) Come to the end of my story. Got to the point that I made. Cesium's the stuff to heat you up, And you ain't gonna find no shade! You'll need cesium! As you sizzle. Cesium some comfort to earn. Cesium -- It's almighty. What a lovely way to burn! --- Songs of Cesium #96 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Cesium Glows (Tune, Love's a Rose) Cesium glows, but you better not lick it, It's fire grows when it's on the tongue. Lips full of holes, you'll know you've kissed it, Just take a bite if you want to die young. I want to see what's never been seen, I want to dream that Cesium dream. Come on love, we can glow together, Let's eat it all right now. Take a bite right now. I want to lie in a hole in the ground, Six feet deep, and twelve feet 'round. Sky blue light around me shinin', Pale blue worms upon me dinin'. Cesium glows, but you better not lick it, It's fire grows when its on your tongue. Mouth full of holes if ever you kiss it, Gimme a spoon 'cause I wanna die Young. ---Songs of Cesium #109 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Cesium's Burning (a round, tune Scotland's Burning) Cesium's burning, Cesium's burning. Look out! Look out! Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Pour on water, pour on water. Oh shit! Oh shit! (repeat) ---Songs of Cesium #81 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Seventy Six Neutrons (Tune, Seventy Six Trombones) Seventy six lithe neutrons swayed on Cesium's bar, Half a hundred and ten bold protons... Hold it! Hold it!. That's Cesium 131. Half life only about 9.69 days. Let's go for immortality here. Worth a shot anyway... Seventy Eight Neutrons (Tune, Seventy Six Trombones) Seventy eight lithe neutrons swayed on Cesium's bar, Half a hundred and ten bold protons joined the press. And the eletronettes were a-whirling in duets, All but one, the singular miss Six S. Seventy eight nubile neutrons writhed in close array, Half a hundred and ten lusty protons swelled the crowd. And the electron pairs played blue photonic airs, >From within a shining quantum cloud. There were pions, muons, quarks and other fermions, Tunneling, tunneling, in a state of partial dress. 'Till an oily bit of water came a wandering, And miss Six S got in a great big mess. Seventy eight screaming neutrons ran and jammed the door, Half a hundered and ten brave protons hit the ground. There was a sky-blue flash, then nothing left but ash, And the echo of a glorious thundering sound. --- Songs of Cesium #76 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Cesium's Strange (Tune, People are strange - The Doors) Cesium's strange, when you're a stranger Consummate danger, ready to blow. Water is wicked, wet and unwanted, Folks are unfriendly, when you glow. Don't take it out in the rain. You're insane! You're insane! Don't you remember the pain? You're insane! You're insane! You're insane --- Cesium's strange, pregnant with danger, Hand the next stranger a kilo or two. Pour on the water, lamb at the slaughter, Bathe in the light that is blue, sky-blue! Don't take it out in the rain. You're insane! You're insane! You'll always remember the pain. You're insane! You're insane! You're insane --- --- Songs of Cesium #13 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Some Enchanted Evening Some enchanted evening, You will meet with danger. You will meet with danger, With Cesium's sky blue flame. And somehow you'll know, You'll know even then. That you'll never really, Be quite whole again. Some enchanted evening, You will see her shining. You will take her, shining, Within your sweating hands. And night after night, In unending dreams, The sound of her thunder, Will blend with your screams. Who can explain it, I won't tell a lie. You won't want reasons, You'll just want to die. Some enchanted evening, When your limbs are scattered, When your flesh is splattered, Across a crowded room. Then find someone's heart, And make it your own. For yours will no longer, Sustain life alone. If you have found her, Never let her blow. Once you have found her, Never - let - her - blow. --- Songs of Cesium #73 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Sky-Blue Violence (Tune, the Sound of Silence) Hello Cesium my old friend, We've come together at the end. For your message softly gleaming, Left its trail while I was dreaming. And the lesion, That was planted in my brain, Grows again. Gift, of the sky-blue violence -- In dark despair I walked alone, Empty streets of glowing stone. `Neath the shadow of a fallen ramp, I sought shelter from a creeping damp, When my eyes were seared, By a flash of burning light. Blinding bright. The flaming sky-blue violence -- And in the hellish light I saw, Ten thousand people, maybe more. People staring without seeing, People gasping without breathing, People seeking lips, That kisses used to share. Nothing there. Taken by the sky-blue violence. And the broken people prayed, Beneath the ghastly god they'd made. And the light shone out with a warning, In the cloud that it was forming, And the cloud took the form of a fungus, O'er the fading fireball. And deathly pall. Mark of the sky-blue violence -- --- Songs of Cesium #137 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Cesium's Burning Bright (a round. Tune, My Paddle's Keen and Bright) Cesium's burning bright, Flaming quick-silver. Call up her wild blue light, Fair fire of spring. Fair fire of spring arise, Flaming quick-silver. Blue as the mountain skies, First fire of spring. (repeat) ---Songs of Cesium #32 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hotel Cesium (Tune, Hotel California) (1) By a dark ruined skyway, Near a shattered square, Mad schemes to delete us, Hanging fell in the air. Through a broken window, I saw a sky-blue light. And bitter smoke curled round my head, In the haunted night. Then she appeared in the doorway, Hot brimstone smell, Wearing a blue kimono, Bearing a silver bell. In her left hand a candle, Bright sky-blue flame, Unearthly light around us, Then she called my name. and said I see you need some Cesium to adorn you. Well you've found the place, And you've a lovely face. I see in your eyes that nobody's going to mourn you. And your time is near, And you have no fear. (2) My mind's unbearably twisted. My vision ends. Gone are the sorry, sorry souls, I called my friends. Once we danced in the sunlight, Hail fellows well met. So painful to remember, So hard to forget. So I said to the countess, Just bring me some chlorine. She said we've had no gasses here, Since 1917. And still her light kept calling, >From far away. Brought me back about a hundred years, And I heard her say. I think you could use some Cesium to adorn you. `Cause you've found the place, And you've a lovely face. We'll fix you up and nobody's going to scorn you. What a nice surprise, When it's in their eyes. (3) Cesium on the ceilings. Cesium on ice. She said we're all practitioners here, Of our favorite vice. In the master's chambers, A sybaritic treat. They spray it with a fire hose, And revel in the heat. Last thing I remember, I was lying on the floor, Watching lakes of Cesium burn, With a sky-blue roar. Relax said a black man, And enjoy the show. You may be dead tomorrow, But what a way to go... ---Songs of Cesium #93 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Maxwell's Sky-Blue Cesium (Tune, Maxwell's Silver Hammer) (1) Joan liked Perrier, had a lovely derrier. All the boys at school, Liked to watch her walk down the hallway, Oh uh-oh-oh. Maxwell McIntyre, boy who liked to play with fire, Wanted her alone. Stalked her after school every evening, Oh Jo-o-oan. One night when she's taking a shower, A shadow moves behind... Bang! Bang! Bang! a pound of Cesium, Blew off her head. Bang! Bang! Maxwell's sky-blue Cesium, Made sure that she was dead. (2) Back in school again, Maxwell breaks a rule again, Steals down the hall. Lights a little fire in the bathroom Sta-ah-ah-all. Teach says Max you're sick, that was such a rotten trick, You will toe the line. Polish all the toilets until they Shi-i-i-ine. But when she's over getting a drink, He creeps up from behind... Bang! Bang! Bang! a pound of Cesium, Blew off her head. Bang! Bang! Maxwell's sky-blue Cesium, Made sure that she was dead. (3) Cesium 131, really is a dirty one, Radioactive glow. Where he got it nobody seems to Know uh-oh-oh. Judge is heard to say, Max you're going to go away, For a long long time. Such a pretty boy on the prison Row uh-oh-oh. But as he take a sip of his tea, A blue light shines behind... Bang! Bang! Bang! exploding Cesium, Blows off his head. Bang! Bang! Maxwell's sky-blue Cesium, Makes sure that he is dead. --- Songs of Cesium #122 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -- Randal Nelson 716-275-8488 University of Rochester nelson@cs.rochester.edu Computer Science Department ..!{allegra,decvax,rutgers}!rochester!nelson Rochester, New York, 14627